Episode 97: Grief Is Not a Mental Illness. But Some Grief Needs More Support.
Grief Is Not a Mental Illness. But Some Grief Needs More Support.
Support Resources
If you are struggling or worried about your immediate safety:
Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is available 24/7.
Postpartum Support International HelpLine:
1-800-944-4773
Text HELP to 800-944-4773 for English support.
The PSI HelpLine provides support, information and connection to perinatal mental-health resources. It is not a crisis hotline. If you are experiencing a crisis, contact 988 or your local emergency services.
Not every grieving parent needs therapy.
Every grieving parent deserves support.
And when we confuse those two things, we risk failing families in both directions: pathologizing normal grief while overlooking the people who need additional mental-health support.
In this episode of the Grief-Informed Perinatal Care Podcast, Vallen explores one of the hardest questions perinatal professionals face:
How do we recognize when grief may need more support, without treating grief itself like a mental illness?
Released during National Suicide Prevention Week, this conversation looks at maternal mental health, suicide prevention, stillbirth, trauma, PMADs, PTSD, prolonged grief disorder and, most importantly, what professionals can actually do when they're concerned about someone in their care.
This isn't about turning doulas, nurses or other support professionals into diagnosticians.
It's about learning to notice, stay within your scope and build a bridge to additional care.
In this episode:
Why grief itself is not a mental illness
Why normal acute grief can still be incredibly intense
How grief, trauma and mental-health conditions can exist at the same time
What research tells us about maternal mental-health-related deaths
Suicide during pregnancy and the postpartum period
PTSD risk following stillbirth
Why grief and trauma are related, but aren't the same thing
Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders after pregnancy or infant loss
What prolonged grief disorder actually means
Why a doula or nurse should never diagnose PGD
What non-mental-health professionals can appropriately watch for
Function, safety, duration, escalation, isolation and substance use
Risk and protective factors after loss
How a referral can accidentally feel like abandonment
What a warm mental-health handoff actually looks like
The three referral resources every perinatal professional should have saved before they need them
One distinction to remember:
“Grief is about who's missing. Trauma is about what happened.”
A parent can experience both.
Understanding the difference doesn't mean you need to diagnose either one. It means you can recognize when another type of support may belong on the care team.
The referral sentence:
If you're concerned that someone needs support outside your scope, try:
“I'm going to keep supporting you. And I also want you to have someone whose whole job is this. Can I give you a name?”
A referral doesn't have to sound like an exit.
Whenever possible, create a warm handoff:
A name instead of a giant list.
A phone number you've actually verified.
A provider you've vetted for perinatal mental health and pregnancy-loss competence.
And a follow-up afterward.
Your Grief-Informed Takeaway
Build your referral list before you need it.
Save three resources in your phone this week:
A PMH-C therapist or clinician with specialized perinatal mental-health expertise.
A counselor or therapist genuinely competent in pregnancy and infant loss.
Your local urgent/crisis mental-health pathway and 988.
Then verify those resources periodically.
Because a referral only helps if it actually leads somewhere.
Research & References
Maternal Mortality Review Committee Data, CDC
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Pregnancy-Related Deaths: Data from Maternal Mortality Review Committees.
CDC Maternal Mortality Review Committee data show that mental-health conditions were the leading underlying cause of pregnancy-related death in data from 36 states during 2017–2019, accounting for approximately 22.7% of pregnancy-related deaths.
More recent MMRC data have found that approximately 87% of reviewed pregnancy-related deaths were considered preventable; CDC's broader public guidance currently states that more than 80% of pregnancy-related deaths are preventable.
Reis, P. J. - Perinatal Suicide
Reis, P. J. (2025). Perinatal Suicide. Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health, 70(1), 13–16.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jmwh.13738
This commentary reviews perinatal suicide and cites estimates that suicide accounts for approximately 7% of deaths during pregnancy and 20% of postpartum deaths.
Westby et al. - Mental Health After Stillbirth
Westby, C. L., Erlandsen, A. R., Nilsen, S. A., Visted, E., & Thimm, J. C. (2021). Depression, anxiety, PTSD, and OCD after stillbirth: a systematic review. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 21, 782.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34794395/
The review found consistently elevated symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD following stillbirth. One included study found mothers who experienced stillbirth had more than four times the risk of receiving a PTSD diagnosis compared with mothers with live births.
Gravensteen et al. - Long-Term Post-Traumatic Stress After Stillbirth
Gravensteen, I. K., Helgadóttir, L. B., Jacobsen, E. M., Rådestad, I., Sandset, P. M., & Ekeberg, Ø. (2013). Women's experiences in relation to stillbirth and risk factors for long-term post-traumatic stress symptoms: a retrospective study.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24154514/
The study assessed women five to eighteen years after stillbirth and found approximately one-third had clinically significant levels of long-term post-traumatic stress symptoms.
American Psychiatric Association - Prolonged Grief Disorder
American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision - Prolonged Grief Disorder.
The DSM-5-TR was released in 2022 and introduced Prolonged Grief Disorder as a formal diagnosis. For adults, the death must have occurred at least 12 months earlier; for children and adolescents, at least six months earlier. Diagnosis also considers significant impairment and whether the grief response exceeds expected social, cultural or religious norms.
ICD-11 -Prolonged Grief Disorder
World Health Organization. International Classification of Diseases 11th Revision - Prolonged Grief Disorder, 6B42.
ICD-11 uses a minimum six-month duration framework and emphasizes that the grief response must persist for an atypically long period and clearly exceed expected social, cultural or religious norms.
ACOG - Perinatal Mental Health Screening
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. (2023). Screening and Diagnosis of Mental Health Conditions During Pregnancy and Postpartum. Clinical Practice Guideline No. 4.
Obstetrics & Gynecology, 141(6), 1232–1261.
The guideline addresses screening and diagnosis for depression, anxiety and anxiety-related disorders, bipolar disorder, suicidality and postpartum psychosis during pregnancy and postpartum.
Professional Training
Want to feel more prepared when pregnancy loss, postpartum and grief enter the room?
Pregnancy Loss Education Self-Paced Course is waiting for professionals like you! Join the class!
https://grief-informed-perinatal-care.captivate.fm
Grief-Informed Perinatal Care Podcast
Hosted by Vallen Webb, Evelyn James & Company
Because care shouldn't end when the family leaves the hospital.
