What Support Is Available for Families Affected by Stillbirth?
If you are here because your baby died, I am so deeply sorry. If you are here because someone you love or care/d for had a baby die, I am so sorry.
Stillbirth changes everything.
It is not just the loss of a baby.
It is the loss of a future, a version of yourself, a sense of safety, and the life you thought you were stepping into.
And one of the hardest parts?
After you leave the hospital… the support often fades.
But your grief doesn’t. Your body is still postpartum. Your life is still trying to make sense of something that makes no sense.
This is where support matters most. I want to walk you through what support actually looks like after stillbirth, because it exists, and you deserve access to it.
First, you are postpartum
This is something that is often missed.
After a stillbirth, you are still recovering physically from birth.
Your body may be:
bleeding
healing from vaginal birth or cesarean
experiencing hormonal shifts
producing milk
exhausted
At the same time, you are grieving. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, postpartum care should include physical healing, emotional support, and ongoing follow-up. Still, families after loss are often left without full continuity of care.
This is why postpartum support is not optional after stillbirth; it is essential. One of the most supportive things you can do is hire a Bereavement or Postpartum Doula (trained in loss support). If you want to learn more about a Bereavement Doula, you can read about it HERE. Essentially, they have been trained to support you in grief after baby loss. They help educate you on your postpartum body (if this is your first experience giving birth and being postpartum), they can help you understand what support you may need, and help you find it and set it up for you, they can help you figure out what questions to ask your providers or funeral directors when it comes to the funeral/burial/cremation of your sweet babe. They are a wealth of knowledge. If you are a doula or care provider and want to become a Certified Bereavement Doula, head HERE.
Emotional and mental health support
Stillbirth is both grief and trauma.
Parents may experience:
intense sadness
anxiety
depression
intrusive thoughts
PTSD symptoms
denial
anger and rage
Research from Postpartum Support International shows that parents after pregnancy loss are at significantly higher risk for mental health challenges. So let’s take a look at your support options and figure out what is the best fit for you or your loved one.
Therapy and counseling
Working with a therapist trained in grief, trauma, or perinatal mental health can help process:
the loss itself
the birth experience
future fears
identity shifts
pregnancy after loss
You can head to PSI and check out their provider directory, which is a list of providers trained in perinatal mental health! Most provide telehealth options; make sure to check if they take your insurance. You can also use Psychology Today, use the filters to search for providers who are trained in loss/grief, women’s health, reproductive loss, baby loss, etc.
Support groups
Connecting with other parents who have experienced loss can be incredibly validating. It is one of those experiences that when you can connect with someone else who has been through it, you don’t feel so isolated, and you're able to just be. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, and others still know how you are feeling and are there to support you when you need it.
Organizations like:
offer both in-person and virtual support groups and provide things like peer support companions and other support options. There are also many local options depending on where you are. Oftentimes, hospitals, churches, local non-profits, and community programs have them. A Google search is a great way to look for these. You can start with “stillbirth/baby loss/support group / (your town or county).”
Podcasts and education
Listening to others who understand can reduce isolation. You understand loss more by hearing other parents’ perspectives and feelings. It helps you process how you're feeling, and it really helps give you the language to use around how you are feeling. Rage. Pissed off. Angry. Devastated. Melancholy. Desperate. Jealous. Unfair. We need to normalize all these feelings, because who wouldn’t feel this way after a deeply devastating loss. This is why I started my podcast so that I could process what I was going through but I could also help others not feel so alone and have someone to listen to and support them when they needed it.
🎧 The Pregnancy Loss and Motherhood Podcast (by Vallen Webb) offers real conversations, support, and guidance through grief and healing.
🎧Navigating Baby Loss for stillbirth moms
🎧Childloss and grief support for moms
Physical and postpartum support
Your body needs care after stillbirth.
Support can include:
Medical follow-up
Postpartum appointments- Most likely, the only postpartum check-up you will have is the typical “6-week” check-up, which is unfortunate, but how our system works. But if you need help and feel like you're drowning and you don’t know what to do, call your doctor’s office and tell them you need an appointment. They are there on YOUR dime. Get the help you need.
Monitoring bleeding and healing- This is something the mom/birthing person needs to keep an eye on, crazy I know. There should be WAY more support for postpartum bodies than we currently have.
Call your doctor or call 911 if you have any of these symptoms
Bright red bleeding beyond the 3rd day after birth
Blood clots bigger than a plum
Bleeding that soaks more than one sanitary pad an hour and doesn’t slow or stop
Blurred vision
Chills
Clammy skin
Rapid heartbeat
Dizziness
Weakness
Postpartum Hemorrhage happens in about 5% of women who give birth. It is more likely to happen within 24 hours after delivery, but it can happen anytime within the first 12 weeks. So please take care of yourself or your loved one and pay attention to your dear body.
Lactation support or suppression guidance- They should have a lactation person at the hospital, but in the off chance you don’t, you can find one via Google or a mom group locally. Again, Google, IBCLC near me/ or add city or town. Doctors also have medications they can give you to suppress milk, but often do not offer it, so make sure to ask if this is something you want to do. Another option is to pump and donate to a milk bank near you. You can also pump or collect (with a Haaka- this is the one I used) to make breastmilk jewelry as a keepsake and reminder of you and your baby’s journey.
Discussions about future pregnancies (only when you are ready)- There is no standard on this either (shocking). BUT most doctors will give a wide range based on a lot of factors, and honestly, it depends on how YOU feel about it. Yes, there is evidence to support that waiting up to a year or so may be best for our bodies, but our hearts don’t always listen. Mental health is one of the things that doctors take into account, so if you struggle a bit more even when you're not pregnant, it may be worth it to get support first before you try again.(Disclaimer- I am not a doctor, just providing information as a loss mom)
Your providers should have/should give you resources for all of these postpartum needs. If they have not, this is when you or a support person can help advocate and ask questions for you and help you find resources.
Postpartum doulas and bereavement doulas
This is one of the most underutilized supports.
A bereavement doula can:
provide emotional support
help with postpartum recovery
assist with memory-making
support the transition home
offer continuity of care beyond the hospital
At Evelyn James & Company, this is a core part of what we teach and advocate for, support that does not end at discharge. You can email us at vallen@evelynjamesandco.com or leila@evelynjamesandco.com if you need help finding a bereavement/postpartum doula near you!
Practical, day-to-day support
Grief makes even basic tasks feel overwhelming. You absolutely need support. If it is available to you, if you can financially afford it, please ask for help however you can. It truly makes a world of difference, and it matters tremendously. If you have access to local programs that offer respite care or help with financial assistance, get the help if you can. MANY non-profits offer financial assistance after a loss. You can use our resource list to look through and see what would help. Scroll down to the bottom and search the tabs.
Support here looks like:
meal trains
grocery delivery
childcare for siblings
help with household tasks
managing communication with others
This kind of support reduces stress on the nervous system and allows space for healing.
Support in honoring your baby
Honoring your baby is part of healing.
This can look like:
memory boxes
jewelry or keepsakes
naming ceremonies
anniversaries or birthday remembrance
photos and handprints
Organizations like:
Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep- provides remembrance photography.
And many families find comfort in creating personal rituals or keepsakes, creating an altar to keep their baby around their active lives and share them with others. You can use our Etsy shop to look at our story charm necklaces and other pieces to support your journey.
Support for partners and families
Stillbirth impacts the entire family.
Partners may:
grieve differently
feel pressure to stay strong
be overlooked in support systems
Siblings may:
have questions
feel confused
need age-appropriate support
Family-centered care matters here. Support should extend beyond just one person. Head to our resource page and print out any of the support PDFs, we have a wide range of resources for all types of loss/people/circumstances.
Support in pregnancy after loss
For families who become pregnant again, support is still critical.
Pregnancy after loss often includes:
anxiety
fear
difficulty bonding
hypervigilance
Support here may include:
additional medical monitoring
therapy
specialized support groups
You are allowed to need more care in future pregnancies. Sometimes we have to advocate for ourselves a bit more. Just because we had a loss doesn’t mean we are “high risk” so they may push back and not want to give the extra care and monitoring. But it is your right to have the care you want.
Community and connection
One of the most healing things after loss is knowing you are not alone.
Community can look like:
online groups
in-person gatherings
text-based support
shared storytelling
At Evelyn James & Company, we believe deeply in building spaces where families feel seen, heard, and supported—not just in the immediate loss, but long after.
Why this support matters
Stillbirth is often treated as a moment. But it is not a moment.
It is a lifelong experience that deserves:
ongoing care
informed providers
compassionate communities
Families should not have to search this hard to find support. Which is why our website serves as a hub and is growing every single day!!
If you are navigating life after stillbirth, please hear this: You are not meant to do this alone. Support exists. Healing does not mean forgetting.
And your baby’s life matters, always. AND YOUR LIFE MATTERS, ALWAYS. I know we do a lot of advocating for what we need for our babies, but we need to remember we have the rest of our lives to honor and love our babies, every single day. We also need to take care of ourselves and make sure we can survive this AND be able to live with joy again. It is possible. We love our families so much and are here for you always. Check out the resources below, and if you need anything, our emails are
For Families
You deserve support, guidance, and care through this.
Find resources here:
👉 https://www.evelynjamesandco.com/findsupport
Explore remembrance and support items:
👉 https://evelynjamesandco.etsy.com
Listen to the Podcast
👉 https://thepregnancylossandmotherhoodpodcast.captivate.fm
For Professionals
Families deserve better care after loss, and you can be part of that change.
Learn more about pregnancy and infant loss training:
👉 https://www.evelynjamesandco.com/training-calendar
Helpful Resources
Evelyn James & Company Resource Hub: https://www.evelynjamesandco.com/findsupport
Postpartum Support International: https://www.postpartum.net
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support: https://nationalshare.org
Star Legacy Foundation: https://starlegacyfoundation.org
References
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists
Postpartum Support International
Star Legacy Foundation
Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support
March of Dimes
